Welcome to the Club

My sister called me this morning and asked me to lie to her. I don't like to lie. I'm not very good at it and I honestly find the truth to be much more incredible, hilarious, and easier to keep up with. But she begged. So I did. I told her that my husband and…

The Doctor is In

I've known him all my life. And after my dad, he's the "adult male" that I would turn to for car maintenance advice, a kind word, a belly laugh in the form of some hilarious anecdote that had  happened that week. Uncle Tracy has been a comfortable constant in my life no matter where the…

At Least She’s Polite

My daughter's teachers are amazing. I cannot sing their praises enough. And my daughter LOVES them, even though there are days when the Autism-induced frustration comes flying out of her mouth in a Tourette's Syndrome style of four-lettered words. Her math teacher, Ms Scott, is kind of new. She started last year. She and Randa…

Definition of Teenager

As a frazzled mother of five kids under the age of 7, everyone I knew who had kids older than mine would tell me how it gets easier when they're older. One of the side effects of Prozac, apparently, is selective memory. Those women are a giant pile of fucking liars. The TRUTH is this:…