I started this blog in the hopes of expanding my reader base for that “someday” when I finally publish my novel that’s been collecting dust only 9 chapters in for the last 2 years. I also figured it would be a good way to work through some of my angsty, feely, stabby issues that one would ordinarily work through with a therapist that I cannot afford. It was
working for several years (over two different blog sites) and then I decided to take a 30-day blogging challenge with write prompts from a women’s group that I belong to on Facebook. Since the writing prompts were very personal and would leave me vulnerable to the opinions and judgments of my friends and family that follow my blog, I decided to open a second blog site under this one and called it ” thedeepdown .” You know, because every now and then I find myself clever and since these were my “deep down” feelings, I should label it something that sounds like where one would hide boudoir toys in a drawer that must be purged by one’s sister or best friend upon her death so that no one will know exactly how “interesting” a person she is behind a bedroom door.
At any rate, I got so wrapped up in “the deep down” that I neglected to come back to this blog and continue with my intention of the more open, more surface-level, more PG-13 rated blog site. And today I realized that I’m THAT girl. The one in high school or college who has a number of friends she hangs with until she gets a boyfriend and then PLOP….all friends are dropped unceremoniously and her world becomes the boyfriend and his interests and his friends and his parties and her past interests, friends and parties turn into brief, shimmery glitches in the shiny set that she’s created for herself. To put it
bluntly, I suck.
I’m not really that girl. I’m just that easily distracted, I guess. And having as many kids as I do, and as many responsibilities as I do, and as many volunteer projects as I do (during the
school year anyway,) somethings just got to give and for me it was my SquarePegsRoundHoles.
Perhaps I feel that I fit in a bit better now….perhaps I’m more of a Pentagonal Peg in a Round Hole. Still not quite a perfect fit but better adjusted? Then again, maybe not.
All I do know is that I erred as I am wont to do and I’m going to try to rectify that by realizing that we had something good back in the 70’s with that whole 8-track thing and
I’m going to start using more than 1 track to work through my issues in life. And as far as my family and friends who follow this blog and now know about the other? Oh, well.
These are my feelings, issues, and points of view. If you recognize yourselves in some of my rants or topics of discussion, then just know that it is what it is. There is no need to contact me to discuss it and/or defend your intentions. I don’t hold grudges. I move on.
I just sometimes have to work through it via blog in order to take that step.
To the rest of you? I’m back.