Oh, God. My heart is physically aching and my nerves are on top of my skin. I am terrified that this time she hurt someone to the degree that a kiss and an apology are not going to make it go away; that she won’t be forgiven. Why didn’t they call me? Why wasn’t I notified when she first started to ramp up and cry? There’s always a build up to the reactionary behaviors; a trigger. I can always calm her down if just given the chance.

But it didn’t happen like that. And she panicked and ran and when they chased her outside she ended up hurting someone; possibly in a very bad way. And when she got off the bus, her face was pale and her eyes were puffy and red and swollen and it was all evidence of a very long and ugly cry. She just walked past me and sat down on the porch swing and told me, “It’s bad day, Mom.” And then she hugged me hard and cried some more and we went inside to begin the meltdown at home for a while.

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