Apparently, summer is the season of bill collectors and telemarketing for those pay-day loans and car title loans. I am the recipient of at least three phone calls daily for some guy named Billy Webb. Occasionally, the callers will ask for his mother, Amanda Webb. I don’t know either one of these people. (Truth be told, I DID once know an Amanda Webb but it’s not the same person as she isn’t old enough to have a son who owes people tons of debt…..I digress.) 
So this Billy Webb guy USED to have my current phone number. But as I keep telling these people with thick Indian accents, IT’S NO LONGER HIS NUMBER! (And hasn’t been since I moved here over a year ago.) I call the telemarketing block list….to no avail. Mostly because they use computer generated numbers now to make it look like they’re calling from Kansas or Iowa, when the collection company is actually located in New Dehli. Whatever.

I’ve told people that Billy Webb is dead. 

I’ve told them, “Nope. Haven’t seen him but if you find him, you call me back! That son of a bitch owes ME money, too!”

For crying out loud! I am not Billy Webb. I don’t know Billy Webb. I don’t want a pay-day loan. I am not interested in the law enforcement cases against Billy Webb or his mom. 

Nothing works. They keep calling. I know it seems simple, right? Change your number. Wrong. I have this phone number listed with all the kids’ schools, our insurance company, the bank, the bills, the countless relatives in 3 different countries. It’d be too much trouble to get all that mess straightened out only to end up with some other Billy Webb’s old number and a new set of bill collectors, law enforcement agencies, and opportunistic loan entities calling.

So, I do what anyone else with the same problem does:  I say, “No, I don’t know any Billy Webb,” and then I hang up. 



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