Unless I’m working out, I abhor it. And due to my Irish genes, I am doomed to yellowed armpit stains on any white shirts worn for longer than 2 hours on a hot day. What? It’s not all Irish people? Just me? Huh. Imagine that. And all this time I thought it was the “sweaty booze trait” handed down for generations. Silly me. I digress.

Anyway, I have now entered the perimenopausal phase of my life. And that’s just a fancy-pants way of saying HOT FLASHES, MOOD SWINGS and NIGHT SWEATS……..or total laundry HELL since I’m changing my shirts about 3 or 4 times a day now even while sitting in front of a fan.

I read on a blog about the other 33 symptoms I may encounter…Oh Crap. KILL ME NOW. Really? Bad breath? I need THAT on top of the aforementioned and dryness in all parts south of the face, which now if microscopic oil wells were to be built on it would solve the American dependency on Middle East Oil.

I know. I’m an idiot for moving to Egypt, right? The seasonal calendar consists of 2 months of rain and 10 months of H-O-T! And although we are in a desert area (near the coast) it’s humid as hell all of the time. Egypt is a plethora of contradictory weather terms. Personally, I blame the Nile because it’s running up instead of down. Whatever.

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