It’s about 4,000,000 degrees F outside (that’s 2,222,204.44 degrees C, in case you were wondering.)  I melted four days ago.  But then I guess someone scooped up my big, ole puddle of body fat into a Nikki-shaped mold and stuck me back in the freezer.  Because here I am again….all corporeal and able to type.  Maybe there’s something to this whole cryogenics thing, after all. Who knew?

So along with all the heat and humidity of Summer, comes the weird sleeping hours and laziness to a degree you would be flabbergasted over in the Winter.  It’s just too hot to sleep or eat or cook or clean or hell, breathe, even.  The energy required to towel off after a cold shower just makes you get all sweaty again. So I’m thinking of waterproofing my computer somehow and just sort of staying in the bathroom until September.  Fortunately for my kids, who are concerned about privacy issues with me turning the bathroom into an office and it’s the only bathroom in the house, I haven’t figured the whole CPU waterproofing thing.  But let me tell you….as soon as I do, they’re peeing across the street at the neighbors’ house.

For about 9 months out of the year, I’m a “get ‘er done” kinda gal, to borrow from Larry, the Cable Guy.  I get up early and get some laundry hung while I pound back coffee after waking kids up one at a time to utilize the aforementioned one bathroom in a sort of assembly line fashion, get ’em off to school, buy produce and carry it all the 2-mile walk back home.  I have more coffee while I write on this blog or work on my novel or just screw around and catch up on email or Facebook. I always have laundry going and manage to get something started for lunch and the wash hung again before running out the door to pick the kids up from school.  I carry the dish-washing throughout the school year but during the Summer I delegate to the kids. This year, they’ve been pretty substandard (read: SUCKY) at completing their tasks.  Anyway, I am one well-oiled machine running this household until about mid-June. And then you can hear my gears grinding to a halt.

I don’t sleep at night anymore. I wish I could.  It’s just too damn hot. I sleep around dawn when the mosquitoes have backed off enough that I can open the windows so that the ceiling fans aren’t just blowing hot air around. And I have so many things that I want to get done before noon…but unless I literally pull an all-nighter/morning-er I will never get them done. Sleeping from 6-12:30 isn’t conducive to my errand list.

And that  perpetual lie I tell myself daily, “I’ll just take a quick nap and get up at 9” isn’t even fooling me anymore. Apparently, my subconscious has checked out with a quick “yeah, right!” retort and somehow the alarm never goes off.

So, what do I do? I may get off of here now and take a quick nap so that I can get up at dawn and “get ‘er done” but that’s not bloody likely. My youngest has sort of pushed my hand at making him an apple  pie by peeling and cutting 2 lbs of apples and if I don’t do it now then they’ll go bad and I’ll feel guilty for wasting food.  And then Ismail has the clippers all set up for me to give him the mohawk I’ve been promising to give him since Summer started. *sigh*

I wonder if  Pinterest has any computer waterproofing pins.

4 thoughts on “Lazy, Hot Summer

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